The Struggle with Conflict

I have had to deal with many controlling people in my life. My biggest struggle has been how to maintain my sense of identity and find peace in these situations. Recently, I've had more conflict in dealing with this at my workplace.


I've had to go back to my 12 Step program and remember - I can't control others and how they choose to express themselves. All I can control is my reaction to them and make a choice to emotionally step back before responding.


When I am in these situations, I wonder how I slid away from my belief system. Part of the problem is I go into my ego and pride. I forget to stay in the moment and realize that my true power lies in not overreacting.


I also realized I have to feed my spiritual life as I feed my human body. I need to keep studying and hearing spiritual truths to grow spiritually. As I look at my own shortcomings, it helps me to accept what I observe in others. I am no better or worse than those who are trapped in the illusion that they actually have power and control.


Later, as I sat with this challenging person, I calmed myself and sat back in my chair. I listened and observed. I realized this person wasn't hearing what I said, but was reacting from their own inner insecurity. I came away calmer and more at peace.

I learned to listen to others before I discuss any issues. I also need to put my own insecurities aside and make sure I fully understand the situation before I speak. Silence can be daunting at times, but therein lies a great deal of power and control.